Bullying and PTSD

Posted on by pilgrimnow

Is it possible that we can suffer PTSD after being bullied for a decade? Or more, or less… however long the bullying lasts the effects last a lot longer.

I’m sure I suffer with PTSD as a result of being constantly bullied every day for many years. I’m sure I ended up in abusive relationships and situations as a result. I know I believed and very often still do that for some reason unknown to me everything about me deserves that abuse. I’m sure that my behaviour at times especially when I was younger was triggered by the agony of the constant physical and mental abuse. I know in my head it’s all bullshit and no one deserves that but it involves so much more than what your head knows.

For me, the constant wearing down I felt after being bullied for so many years has partly shaped how my life went. The destruction of the little self confidence I had and the things I was taught by these awful individuals, the things I did to get by, the results of all that have been pretty much catastrophic at times.

But. I’ve had some awesome times too actually. Things I can look back on that still make me feel the way I felt then, that I can smile over, feel proud of, that I can feel feed my soul.

So although the bullies did win back then, although they changed me and I have no clue where my journey would have been heading if they had left me alone I’m able to look back and say I’m still surviving, I’m still learning, it’s not all bad all of the time and just maybe some of those awesome times happened because of what I learned. Yeah, maybe I’ll win in the end…

Published by pilgrimnow

I'm just an ordinary person, trying to live with the twists and turns on life's path and there have been plenty of those! I've had a lifelong argument with my inner self. The two of me are the one who hides the depression, anxiety, self loathing and sometimes crippling doubt and social awkwardness and the one who argues that mental health problems are not something to be ignored and hidden through shame. Ater a traumatic family period I lost the plot somewhat suffering severe post natel depression, death of a loved one, my child living elsewhere for a while and a divorce. An abusive marriage followed, along with a close brush with death a few times including a brain injury in my late 30s has left lasting physical and mental challenges along with chronic pain and stress. As a parent now of older kids and a teen, married to a spouse on the autistic spectrum (although undiagnosed) I've got a fairly wide outlook on life. I've had psychiatric treatment on and off for years since my teens but I feel that there are ways now to keep myself better informed, maybe that will help me help myself more, understand myself a little better and hopefully find a friendly face or two on the way?

5 thoughts on “Bullying and PTSD”

    1. Thank you! It’s a constant battle but remembering it’s now a battle with myself far more than anything else is a big part of gaining something over what they did.
      Thank you for your comment, it means a lot

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  2. Absolutely it causes PTSD. It did for me and took years to get a handle on. I was bullied for six long years in school and didn’t trust people for so many years after. However, I worked on myself and now can trust and have great relationships!

    I’m so proud of you for being so positive! I’m reblogging this on my anti-bullying blog because people need to know that bullying does cause PTSD. I also want to give you more exposure!

    This piece is very well-written!

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    1. Thank you so much! Sorry to learn you have experienced this too. I believe although it’s hard we need to allow ourselves to acknowledge the enormous impact this has on all aspects of life going forward. We need to hear each other and know there are many of us who totally understand!

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