Bullying and PTSD

Is it possible that we can suffer PTSD after being bullied for a decade? Or more, or less… however long the bullying lasts the effects last a lot longer.

I’m sure I suffer with PTSD as a result of being constantly bullied every day for many years. I’m sure I ended up in abusive relationships and situations as a result. I know I believed and very often still do that for some reason unknown to me everything about me deserves that abuse. I’m sure that my behaviour at times especially when I was younger was triggered by the agony of the constant physical and mental abuse. I know in my head it’s all bullshit and no one deserves that but it involves so much more than what your head knows.

For me, the constant wearing down I felt after being bullied for so many years has partly shaped how my life went. The destruction of the little self confidence I had and the things I was taught by these awful individuals, the things I did to get by, the results of all that have been pretty much catastrophic at times.

But. I’ve had some awesome times too actually. Things I can look back on that still make me feel the way I felt then, that I can smile over, feel proud of, that I can feel feed my soul.

So although the bullies did win back then, although they changed me and I have no clue where my journey would have been heading if they had left me alone I’m able to look back and say I’m still surviving, I’m still learning, it’s not all bad all of the time and just maybe some of those awesome times happened because of what I learned. Yeah, maybe I’ll win in the end…